Why do these things happen V

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I know it does not solve anything, but it has been my way of escaping life and it is the first thing I think about at times, I won't do it, just the stupid thought that goes thru the brain.

I know everyone here is going thru the same thing, but I do not think any of you have the extra burdens I am carrying. Along with the seperation is the ending of drinking, if you have ever been around an alcoholic who has stopped, you will know it is not an easy process. Also at this same time period I am still coming to grips with the sexual abuse of my past. So you add those three up and it is an overpowering force that I am dealing with.

As for family, mom has ALS and can move some fingers and tilt her head, so I cannot talk or vent with her, that and she does not know about the abuse part and I will not tell her. My dad is the career military type, he will just say screw her and move on, he also does not know. The rest of my family is strung out thru-out the country and I have never been close to any of them. My family that I have always been able to talk to is my wifes, for the last 10+ years when I have had something to talk about it was always with them and at the time being that door is closed to me.

So in all reality, it is me and me only in my problems. This message board is about the only place I can come and say things, to say what I feel. I am alone in all this with no place in real life to turn. I truly feel that I am alone and the only 2 people who are concerned about me are my kids, who are great and I would not trade them in for the world, but at the same time I cannot talk to them either.

Done venting for now I suppose.