ROOT- Hopefully you are in a better place than you were a few days ago. Promise me that there well be no more beating yourself up!!!...I am one to talk...I do it too! Now, I am not sure what you did to manipulate your H to get him to talk to you, but was it really that bad? And obviously in your years together, your H was comfortable communicating at some points. Can you try to recreate that in anyway? If your H stood by you after you "verbal cut him to shreds" why would he leave after you were just trying to get him to open up? I hope things are better for you today.
My week has been okay. I am getting ready to close escrow on my new house on Friday. That scares me to death, but I am going for it. I hope and pray that I will be able to handle it financially and otherwise. It is a brand new house with no yard or anything...yikes!!!
Anyway, today I've been up and down. I had to go by my H's office today to drop off checks. It was awkward when I saw him but I kept it all business except for answering his questions about the kids. I cried when I left there just wondering why he is doing this to us. After that I had a C session. I think it confused me more. My C told me that I should contact my H and ask him to do something with me (drinks, movie, dinner or something). I don't know if this is a good idea since I seem to be better when I don't have contact with him. But since leaving the C's office, I have an idea rolling around in my head because we talked about how my H isn't moving in any direction. So, please let if you think that this is a good idea or not. I want to talk to my H and tell him that unless he is really starting to work on himself, then one of us is going to have to file.
I don't think my H is continuing his C. He still has my picture up all over his office. Most of his clothes and belongings are still here. Financially we haven't figured anything out. He still says he loves me (and is in love with me) but doesn't seem to care to talk to me or spend time with me. He is either living in corporate housing or staying at his friends house so he has made no decision on where he reallly wants to live. He agrees that it makes more sense to work on our M then to go out and find other relationships. He is a walking bundle of question marks!!! From what I can see, he is content for now to live like he is. I can't wait forever just for him to do something. I know pushing him always gives me the reverse reaction of what I was hoping for but what else am I supposed to do? Today was the first time I had spoken with my H in 6 days and it didn't seem to matter to him.
I really need input on this. Should I continue to wait and give him space or do I tell him I need for him to work on himself so he can make a move one way or the other...knowing that it will probably be the other?
