Prayer, now there is a HUGE struggle for me right now. I literally am at "writer's block" with prayer. It's been going on for a couple of weeks now. I think it has to do with how emotionally spent I am at the moment. I even have a hard time just sitting and saying "God, I am struggling, I do not know what to say in prayer right now. So I turn myself over to you." That's what my priest said I should do but I am having trouble with it. So I am finally resigning myself to a process and look to just get through it. I know I'll be able to pray again and move to a better place. This little sub-journey just bites royally right now. Hopefully going and sitting on the beach again tonight will inspire me again.
Bottom line for me right now is I need to find it within me to really turn it all over to God and let go. I'm not letting go which means I am not being 100% faithful. Now that's a hard pill to swallow not that I admit it.
Hey I will say I did something over the weekend and really made me feel good. After I talked with my wife on Friday I knew I really needed her loving support and I needed to give her loving support. So I put my ring back on. It felt strange and wonderful at the same time. I took it off yesterday out of disappointment and emotional let down. I felt like it was just pressure on her too. I put that ring on for me and nothing else. Maybe I need to put it back on for me, for my belief in my commitment to myself, God and my vow to her. Are you still wearing your ring?
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
