I'm kind of glad you say it would deeply bother you too as it has me and I'm starting to feel like I'm wierd for it bothering me. The "ow" said she was in limbo because she wanted to know if my H wanted to be with her or not. According to him he never was with her or wanted to be. This letter was written about 3 months ago which was 3 months after my H came home, its just that I only found it 2 weeks ago.
He no longer has an itemised phone bill so I cannot actually check if he is still contacting her but I know the contact had greatly diminished down to one or two texts a month the last 2 months he had itemised billing. He says these were in response to joke texts she sent him. I believe him on this as he showed me the joke texts although I didn't know he sent a response to them. He says that he very rarely bumps into her at work and that since she sent me a text a couple of months back he has not had anything to do with her as it freaked him out.
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How can your h expect to continue any type of R with her if he is essentially calling her nutty or dishonest?
Yes, exactly my thoughts. He isn't really continuing a R with her of any sorts now he says but the fact that he continued to be friendly towards her in any way after she sent the letter really bothers me. He says he put her straight at the time but cannot remember the exact words he used or her response. This I do find hard to believe as it is a pretty major thing to forget IMO.
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Her comment about being horny and needing him to oblige--is that a quote?
Yes those are her exact words - very sickening indeed. Those words are haunting me and make me cringe. As I say he is adamant there was never anything more than someone to talk to on his side and he thought that is what it was from her side too until he got this letter which he says was completely out of the blue and the contents have not been said before or since by her.
We will have been married 7 years in September and he has never done anything like this before. Until I found this letter I completely believed him that she was just someone he texted A LOT to help him sort out his head when we were separated and he helped her with her R problems. Whilst I wasn't happy about it I accepted it and was extremely pleased the texts diminished drastically when he came home. If he is telling the truth the only thing I can think is she got miffed that he kind of "used" her as a shoulder to cry on. What I don't understand though is why such a letter would be written 3 months after he came back. Surely if she felt like this about the R she would have said something before he came home or just after. Not sure if that is something in his favour or not really.
You ask what I want and what he wants. I want to be with him but want the security back that I felt prebomb and I want to feel I am more important to him than anything. H says he just wants to be happy and for the arguing to stop. Yeah wouldn't we all.
Thank you so much for pondering on my behalf it truly helps to hear what others think.
