Rob #8 - Never Losin' Sight

[Rob1231]

Hi SD, Geez, you're very perceptive! Well, things have backslid a bit for me - W actually "re-bombed" me a couple of days ago. As in saying, I know you think things are going OK now, but they're not. I still feel pretty much the same way I did a year ago. Ugh.

Now, I honestly think that statement sounded much more dire than the sitch really is - the message seems to be, after a long R talk, that she thinks I have backslid and did not reach the lofty goal she had in her mind that would make me "attractive to her" again. (Never mind how great we were doing not long ago.) Lots of dumping the problems all on my head again, etc.

And I certainly have seen that she has withdrawn, inch by inch, over the last couple of months - but I attributed that to other stuff. A large part of that, I know, has been that W's work has been stressful and unfulfilling lately, and that's stirring up some of the ol' MLC feelings again. But, it would be simplistic and foolish of me to believe that was the only thing going on with her.

So, hell, that was a nice unexpected punch in the guts. I'm not in the depths of panic and despair - I'm hoping I've grown too much faith in myself and in the DBing process to sink that far. I'm really still processing this. While I do that, I'm focusing on cranking up the PMA again, concentrating on my GAL stuff, no R talks - in other words, back to the drawing board for a while.

To quote my friend Jules, SH*TF*CK!