Yes, I have in fact told her I've forgiven her for the affair and the divorce. Came to the realization that I was pretty much a grouch/stick in the mud before and recalled that she did try to save the M on occasions. It took the actual physical separation and the filing of D papers to finally wake me up and see that I needed to make and did make some "life changes". Am a lot more fit now and basically have a much better outlook on things. Unfortunately, by that point (filing), she was so detached as past the point of return at the time.
Can see where a lonely woman in emotional pain could fall prey to a worm that had been hitting on her for a long time seeing our M on the rocks. That former "friend" I can never forgive. Anyway, to me the past is relevant but can't be changed so it's the present and future that take precedent. What she told me when we were talking about forgiveness was that "she didn't feel she had to forgive me for not being (or not becoming) the man she thought I could be." But when I asked her what that meant, as usual, she wouldn't give any details. Women seem to want mind-readers and I've yet to meet the guy who is. So I continue to work on everyrthing, not for her but because it's the right way to go. No doubt that there is still some resentment on her part under the surface which translates to entitlement but knowing that gives me an edge on working on it.
Long answer for a short question. Why did you ask? RJ "She may have given up on me in the past but I haven't given up on her yet"
