I posted this on another board that is focused on this issue, self-injury. This is where it's at. This is what I face. I will practice radical acceptance and love until it hurts. W did this before we were married, stopped after she started dating me, didn't do it at all during our marriage and then started again recently.
Agree, Be Happy, GAL and stop all pressuring behavior. All that remains the same. Read on for my new/old challenge.
I'm praying constantly. Every moment my mind isn't otherwise engaged, I'm praying.
She self-harmed, (nice way of saying cut herself), again. I found out by accident. She hid it from me for about a week, but I saw it when she was changing Friday night and confirmed it Monday when she was intimate with me.
I did a lot of research over the next few days, called every mental health pro I know.
After seeing that she is cutting again, my resolve is stronger than ever. I will stand.
I didn't confront her about the cutting. I did ask to see it fully, let her know I was worried about it. I told her that she knows all the reasons she shouldn't already, so I won't go there. I told her I was glad she shared this with me when we were first married, that I understood how hard that had to be, to tell me about that, not knowing what my reaction would be. That I wasn't mad or upset about it. I was only worried then and that is the only thought I have now.
She asked why it matters. I told her that I love her more than anyone on this earth, maybe even more than our kids, but how do you measure that, I just know I love her a lot. And if a friend that I simply cared about shared this with me, I would want to see and know as much as I could about it so I could be there for them..., therefore; how much more would I want to be there for her given how much greater my feelings are for her than simply caring.
If that makes sense.
I'm worried, yet trusting God. I prayed for God to heal her, to fill her with love, peace and joy.
That is all I can do. It's frustrating, I feel as if my hands are tied on so many fronts here. All I can do is wait and watch.
