Got a call from H today but it was about the divorce settlement.
As you recall, the last letter that I received from H's lawyer gave me an ultimatum .. either accept H's "generous" settlement offer or be prepared to go to court.
I declined the generous offer.
When I saw H's name on caller ID today, I thought for a silly moment that it might be about our wedding anniversary next Sunday. But no. H was gruff from the moment I said hello. His demeanor was loud, aggressive and defensive. He told me he was going to make one last settlement offer and that was it.
He tried to intimidate me during the call. He tried to draw me into an argument. I guess I finally learned how to detach, because I didn't take the bait. I was totally calm and I think it shocked H that I couldn't be baited at all (a 180 for me).
H finally said that if I didn't accept his offer, we would go to court. I said, "That's okay, H. We can both stand before the judge .. he'll look at my conduct for the past two years and he'll look at yours and then he will make a decision. Sounds fair to me".
We talked 45 minutes but not once did his tone of voice soften toward me. Even when I mentioned the kids, he remained defensive. He did say that he thought about the kids every day. That was the only kind thing he said during the entire call.
He also mentioned the OW's truck (which he bought for her last year). He said that it was parked in a lot with a "For Sale" sign on it. I don't know what that means .. it might mean nothing.
H said he wants this divorce over with. Actually, so do I. Nothing could be salvaged from this wreck. If H and I ever had a snowball's chance, it would have to be after this divorce is done and the dust settles.
His settlement offer today was really not bad. I am still stubborn about the boat, though. I'm not budging there. I told him to have his lawyer submit his offer to my lawyer and we will consider it.
Is that really you? You know the same person who I first saw here many, many months ago. Or are you an alien...LOL!
Bullies bully becaus that is all they have. You handled the situation fabulously. I especially like how you ok, we can both tell our story to the judge.
Great job, Val. I really am amazed at how far you have come. Keep it up.
IMP
PS - I am smile because it is so good to see you at this place in your life.
My lawyer's secretary just called me. She was livid. She said that H has three lawyers working on the divorce and they are trying to keep us off-balance via delays in sending in requested information and/or not at all (and say they did).
For instance, she called H's law office today at my request to find out about H's W2's for 2006. They told her, with an attitude, that I already had that information.
She has been a legal secretary for many years. She said that in her opinion I should not compromise my original settlement request in any way. She said if it was her, she would go after H with both guns blazing.
I am very glad now that I did not agree to H's settlement offer yesterday.
I cannot believe that I was married to that man for 20 years. (I also can't believe that I was naiive enough to think he would mention our upcoming anniversary yesterday ..)
Thanks to all of ya'll for your wonderful support.
