Thanks for your kind and supportive words. Yes, you are right in many ways. However, I also know my husband's limitations. Verbally expressing his feelings, giving reassurance and explaining things are not his strength. And this is something I recognize and accept in him. (In fact, it's probably something I originally found attractive in him).
My husband and I are polar opposites. His weaknesses are my strengths (and vice versa). I'm verbal. I'm the caretaker, relationship fixer, etc... Even though I won't walk on eggshells anymore (been there!), I do need to be tactful and considerate. And I do need to try and communicate clearly to him. And trying to manipulate him into telling me things that he's afraid to talk to me about isn't a good way to do it. Somehow I need to get him comfortable talking to me. And unfortunately, we have years of him seeing me as a verbal bully. I was in a lot of pain after that first affair and in that pain and anger I lashed out at him quite a bit. Yes, the affair was wrong, but I verbally cut him to shreds about it....
Oh well... enough of me. How's your week going? How are you doing?
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
