Why is this like this?

[ItsKat]

I agree that if you want to change things around for you, then do it. She hasn't lived there in a while, and doesn't even seem to be helping you pay the mortgage anymore, so doesn't get a say right now in what you do to the house.

I have been very slow to change anything. It probably was just me having a hard time letting go. But I am ready to make some changes, declutter, etc, and make this place MINE, because that is what it is right now. I made my first step yesterday by cleaning out the bedroom that H stayed in before he left. I just had the door closed to that room for so long because it was a painful reminder for me, but yesterday I went in, washed all the bedding, picked up all his trash and other cr@p he left in there. Now it is back to my nice, tidy guest room, ready for whoever might come stay with me next. It felt really good to take that room back. Now on to the rest of the house for me!