Okay so I've been with my H for 11 years will be 10 years married in August if we make it that far. He moved out of the house back in May. This is about the 5th time he's left. Last time was about 3 years ago and was for 2 months. He says he needs to find himself and be happy. So far he's no happier then he was when he left. He tells me he doesn't see how we can ever be together again and things like that, but then he does things like find excuses to strike up an IM conversation. Even once called me for something that could have waited until the next time we spoke. After doing this for about a week he decided we probably shouldn't be just talking because he's probably giving me false hope and he shouldn't do that after having moved out. So he isn't really talking as much now. We have 2 boys ages 7 & 3 so we do have some contact. He takes them every other weekend. He's moved into an apartment with a year lease. Seems from what he's saying that he wants to move on but his actions don't always match what he's saying. He's been married before and has a 14 yr old son from that marriage, who at the moment doesn't want anything to do with my H. He's in town visiting his grandparents and somehow my H managed to be at the same place as his son on Saturday. Needless to say that didn't go well at all. So he had a bad weekend and is down about that. I called him Sunday night to say I'm sorry about what happened and if he wanted to talk I'm here. He never responded. Then yesterday morning he IM'ed me to say thanks he appreciated the phone call. Anyway conversation ended up turning to us (he started it) and he said he loved me (as in past tense) but right now he doesn't trust anyone enough to love and share a life with. I don't want a divorce and I think we can get past this. At the moment he's not open to that. I should say a couple weeks after he left we had a 6 hour talk and he was saying things like he wasn't ready yet or I needed to give him time. We've been to counseling in the past but he isn't willing to go now. I guess I'm just wondering if there's still hope? I realize I'm partly to blame for where we are at and I've apologized and owned up to it he just is shut down right now. I'm not pushing him or calling him all the time. I'm trying to give him his space I just sometimes feel really hopeless. I'm doing my soul searching and praying. I just don't know what to do and any input would be appreciated.
