Your outlook and the way you describe how you see things seems like such a good place to be to me. I feel that I am fighting circumstances all the time.If its down to choices, (which it usually is), then I would find it v.hard to put myself in another relationship where another person could hurt me so much. At the moment, even though things on the surface seem ok with H, I am so worried that I am going to get hurt again that I question my ability to commit. A large part of me wants to run away as I don't feel I want to let anyone be close enough to me to hurt me that badly again. There won't be a 'next guy' if it doesn't work with H. If there is another A then I am OUT.
How can one not take it personally when your H has told you that it is 'your fault' that it happened?? I am not in a place where I can feel as confident about myself as you appear to. I have little self value or self esteem. I know I should feel better about myself but I don't.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
