"4) Babysteps, tell him if he comes home early and puts the kids to bed for you he'll get sex, if he doesn't he won't. On the nights he does this, make yourself scarce, go to the gym or if you're too tired for that have a sauna or a massage or get your nails done - whatever. Come back when the kids are tucked up and initiate sex. You have to get out of the house otherwise you will just use the time to do chores or end up getting roped in when the kids kick up a fuss.
Make sure it is a total Action/Reward loop so he knows if he does the action he gets the reward - no ifs or buts. On those days keep him excited by sending him sexy little text messages with things like "looking forward to tonight...." etc. This helps keep him focused on getting his work out the way and fulfilling his side of the bargain."
No No No No.....
Do not under any circumstances do this.
Do I think he needs to cut down on his hours and lend a hand? Sure.
But, going down this road is a road to ruin. Setting up your sex life as a barter/reward system will fail miserably for both you and your H. This will not lead to true intimacy but will instead insure that both of you will continue to build up a huge pile of resentment for each other and that is the real relationship killer.
