"I wish I could be as accepting of circumstances as you or as wise. Hopefully I will get there in the end.
At the moment the 'minor distraction' seems pretty major. I can only hope that in time it blends more into the background and assumes an acceptable proportion of my attention."
Saffie, I don't think it's accepting the circumstances, it's more like looking at all options and choosing what's best for my children and me. It's also knowing that if I hold onto the pain and anger I only hurt myself. I know! I've done this before. The first affair took me 5 years to get through. I just don't want to waste my time going through that again. I also do realize affairs can always happen no matter who you are married to. I could divorce my husband, remarry and the next guy could do the same thing. Sheesh!!! look how many people are here? Notice how many relationship books touch on affairs? Anyhow, I've learned that even "the best" people and those we love can go through times of weaknesses or become misguided. You cannot take it personally and you cannot control it. All I can do is work on myself. My own strength, my own sense of self-esteem and self-worth... just love myself and love the people around me... freely and generously. Getting unconditional love is a very special gift. I have to hope that my husband will realize this and recognize how valuable it is. But I can't necessarily trust in his ability to always realize this. In the end, if he throws this away, he's the one who loses.
I understand negative thought patterns and fixation (I have a child with OCD and I have a tendency to do this too!), but what I've also learned, and have come to understand is we can change this.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
