Nothing to stand firm about. As you can see by all the exchanges I was pretty much neutral. I showed no anger, I showed no begging. I kept to the facts at hand.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
NMH, I have not posted to you before but thought I would stop by and read a little today.
I have to agree with UA and T2, Do not reply to her anymore. Go dark and take care of your buisness.
I am not uit sure what happened to get you this far but I will try and get caught up on your sitch.
Also as well as your reply. I think it was perfect.
Now it is time to just let her stew and realize that her bullying you is not going to work.
One last thing. The lessons for your D. Are you going to pay for all of them? I would simply suggest that you split the cost with your W. It is something that will happen later on down the line and if she was to see what life is like on the other side of the fence let her.
This has just become your our own personal buisness now and needs to be treated that way.
Just my two cents.
By the way I do not know if you have read my thread at all but my W tried the same thing to me and I gave in for a while. Once I quit giving in and started to make her responsible for her own actions two things happened.
1) She got really pissed off and back way off wanting to fight all of the tome and throw the guilt trip on me.
then
2) She can not get enough family time now. We spend three or four evenings a week together as a family now and she is nicer to me than she has been for the past year or so.
So basically what I am trying to say is that when you take a strong and firm stand with her it will get worse before it ever gets better. Sounds like you have been her safty blanket for some time now. Take it away but in a loving way.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Thanks OSU. I wouldn't say safety blanket. But we have remained close friends at some level during all this time. That is until the OM left his wife in another state, moved out here to be her "friend".
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
2) She can not get enough family time now. We spend three or four evenings a week together as a family now and she is nicer to me than she has been for the past year or so.
So basically what I am trying to say is that when you take a strong and firm stand with her it will get worse before it ever gets better. Sounds like you have been her safty blanket for some time now. Take it away but in a loving way.
Wait, your W is being nice again? I thought you guys were D-O-N-E??? Where is your thread???
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
First of all she has told you what is on her mind right this moment. Guess what. Who cares what she tells you to be honest. Wait until she follows through with anything. (Also talk to an atty just for cya purposes, always good to have your gun loaded if you are forced to use it.)
Here is where it is time to "Man-Up" and just take the focus off of her and put it on you. This is a buisness and I am serious about that. Right now are you friends with your wife? Are you in a loving relationship with your wife?
Well, it is time to let go and let her come back to you. There is nothing you can do to force her to change her mind. All you can do is make yourself the best availible option for your W and be happy.
You said you feel hopeless. Do you know much about the law of attraction?
That hopeless feeling and negative out look WILL bring more negativity to your life.
As far as the OM. You just said it. He moved her from another state. Now he has to put up with all of the BS of a real R no just one that he had and could take a break from all of the time. Same with you W. It has to run its course brother.
But while it is running its course just do not sit around and waste time. Better yourself so that when it does run its course you are the best availible option out there.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
