I don't think he misses me. He doesn't want me around, I think, but I don't know for sure, even though he says, it's because he has someone else, and maybe he has for a long, long time. Or maybe I make him feel guilty, I don't know. But it contradicts other things and behaviors, so I'm totally confused. Maybe in his mind he thought he was being nice? But it didnt give me anything to work with in terms of solutions. Maybe he just wanted to reduce the chances he'd have to have any financial problems with it. I don't know, I know somehow he's hurt, but I don't know how I hurt him? But he seems to be able to shut off any emotion toward me but anger.It's been making me crazy, guessing, guessing at all the things he said and unanswered questions on conversations. Oh Lord, save me from making myself nuts with vagueness. I thought my H was a gift from God, I'd waited for a long time, we were so compatable in many ways. It's all very MLC.
His moving means there is no hope to reconcile. You know I don't even know what I might have done differently. He's never communicated to me what he wanted, what would have excited him or anything. He wouldn't tell me. There were times when sex was wonderful and he'd say I love you after, I loved making love to him. And I just don't understand where he is coming from or what happened. I just ache. I think I didn't handle the lack of sex very well at times at all. I feel I did something that turned him off, and I don't even know what. I'm sure my whimping around doesn't help, but I don't know if that's how I seem when I'm with him. I mean I don't know what I seem like to others really.
The thought of dating, putting myself in a position for more rejection just makes me ill. The worst part is not understanding what happened, so I won't repeat whatever it was. I've been through heartache before. So I think well OK, but it was years between relationships with the man before my H.
You can move on even with your H there. But I understand what you mean in a way. But, watch out what you wish for.
Thanks for your response.
Originally Posted By: mkultra
That sounds like a difficult situation. He obviously has some issues that he is avoiding. He sounds very similar to my H when it comes to sex. Honestly, sometimes I wish my H would get a job and move cross country then I could get over him more easily and find a new man, but I know that is just a fantasy and it would not do my famly any good. He does sound like he is resisting being nice to you, like it is contrived. He needs to miss you. Have you detached yourself already? Maybe you have iif you have been DBing for two years. What happened?
