I'm new here but someone mentioned Deida so I thought I would respond.
Cemar:
Why are you basing your happiness upon the reaction you receive from your wife? I see you have mentioned Deida, from this I assume that you agree with his writings. If so, then you know you need to stop wasting time trying to get your wife to love you in the way you think that you need loved. Even if she somehow accomplished this, this making you feel desired, your needs would change in the future and she would again fail to meet the new standard. You need to find your purpose in this life Cemar and get on with it. I think that is what Deida would tell you.
To me, I'm new here but I have read a few of you posts Cemar, you are trying to derive your self-worth from how aggressively your wife pursues or responds to sex. Simply put, this is a fool’s errand. Your wife isn't going to become hot for you simply because you want her to be.
Dieda did say that if your wife doesn't desire you that you should leave. You got that point. But, what you're missing is he said that if you unabashedly find your purpose in life and pursue it at your full potential, if you find your edge and lean past it, if you are living authentically and with fullness in the moment, then and only then, if your wife doesn't desire you he advises you to leave. Are you really pursing your purpose Cemar? Are you spending every waking minute that you can get giving the world your gift? Do you spend most waking moments creatively developing this gift so that you are at your full potential? If so, and your wife still doesn’t desire you then I think that, perhaps she never will and you are with the wrong woman. There isn’t anything wrong with her, you just chose poorly when you decided to make her your wife, she isn’t right for you.
Do you really think that your wife should desire you no matter how you are living your life Cemar?
