Yesterday my W and I had our first disagreement about our kids and pseudo custody. I had plans last night with my DD's while my W was to be at her IC. From my perspective I have had the girls to myself the nights that she has counseling, I did not feel I needed to get her OK for my plans. Well my W last minute decided to change plans, I no longer was going to pick our kids up at her friends because she was going to bring them to her sisters for the night. Which would have meant ERC would not have seen his DD's and would have had to cancel his plans for the evening. After going back and forth on the phone for a little while I went and picked up my girls and my W left to go to her IC. She was pretty hot about this since she did not see them all weekend and she just wanted to spend sometime with them. I think she forgets the fact that she is with them all day while I am at work... I really do not agree with her argument, I just see it as her being a brat....
I ended up with my girls for the evening. We went to our friends house and hung out there for sometime. I made plans with my friend and his DD to go camping in two weeks. It should be a good time. We are going to go back to the same camp ground that we went to a few weeks ago, at least that is the plan if I can get a campsite.
Once home last night the girls and I ate some popcorn and watched Bambi before I put them to bed.
When my W got home I ended up talking with her for a while. She asked me if I still loved her. I told her yes... I sometimes feel that I am crazy to keep loving you but Yes I still love you. She told me that I had a strange way of showing it. If I loved her I would have let her take the girls so she could spend sometime with them since she did not see them over the weekend(pretty bratty??). She also told me that in the beginning of this sitch I was amazing for the first couple of months but then I reverted back to the same old opinionated ERC. She also said that over the last few months that she tried coming back to the M a few times. I told her that she had been gone this whole time(I actually referred to a discussion we had 2 days after she told me about the EA) and that any attempt she tried to make to comeback was for not because she was still carrying out her R with the OM. She did not argue and seemed to agree. She also said that our M had been dysfunctional for years and she did not know it until it came out through her C. She also told me that no amount of MC could save our M and that it would be pointless.
Later, while I was trying to go to sleep she came downstairs flipped on the lights and said I have a comment and a question. The comment was her telling me something that happened to her the other day with our girls. And the question was if I talked to my boss about changing my hours so the custody arrangement that she is thinking about will work. We then stayed up for another 45 minutes talking..... She did ask me if I forgave her.... I asked for what specifically but then answered her honestly. I am not at the point where I can full forgive you. I am going down that road but I cannot wholeheartedly tell you that I forgive you totally at this point. She seemed content with me saying this, it is where I am so not much she can say or do.....
