I can really empathise with you about the medications.
Not only have I got off all the antedepressants but now I am having to come of painkillers that I have been on continuosly for the last 7 yrs due to a neck injury. Its really difficult and the drugs become a habit and a crutch. It is worth it though - my H says its like getting me back again. I know it can really drag you down but the end result will be worth it.
best wishes
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I have been taking them for about 2 years now due to phantom pains in my leg. I do believe it has evolved into a habit and a Crutch. I have gone 1 day so far and I have a little pain but nothing I can't handle. I am also going to quite smoking (closet smoker) but I want to get off the meds first. I didn't want to try both at the same time. I am going to give myself a week off the meds before I try the cigs. Hopefully before Our second date.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
What pain killers are you on? Are they prescription ones or over the counter?
You must come off them gradually. A rule of thumb is that you must gradually cut them down over as many months as the number of years you have been taking them. This is in order for you to gradually wean yourself off the emotional support they give you together with giving your body time to adapt to the reducing amount of drug in your system and also to allow your body to gradually start manufacturing its natural pain killing endorphins, ( which would have reduced due to the effcts of the drugs in your boy). Stopping the pain killers, (depending on what they are compiled of), in a cold turkey way can be dangerous and cause your body real problems.
I think you are very wise to not stop smoking at the same time but try kicking one habit before the other.
GOOD LUCK - I am very interested in how you get on. The pain killers I am addicted to have Codeine in them which acts as an opiate in the brain. I was really shocked that the amount I was taking, under a doctors advice, could be likened to 2 hits of heroin a day!!! That can make you feel like but I know in my head that its really
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
It's Vicodin 5 mg-500 mg Tab. I have not had any since sunday and aside from a little head acke I feel ok. a little while ago I did have the "habbit" need for the high but it passed.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Common brand name(s) Lorcet, Lortab, Norco, Vicodin
Uses This medication is a combination of a narcotic (hydrocodone) and a non-narcotic (acetaminophen) used to relieve moderate to severe pain. Hydrocodone works by binding to opioid receptors in the brain and spinal cord, and acetaminophen decreases the formation of prostaglandins, therefore relieving pain.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Just looked your drug up. Yep not nice. Similar to the Codeine I am addicted to but maybe a bit worse. I don't think it is probably licensed over here in the UK, (probably just aswell for me!!!)
You have got a lot on your plate at the moment!!
Wish I could think of something more helpful to say.
Thinking of you
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
"I wish I could be as accepting of circumstances as you or as wise. Hopefully I will get there in the end.
At the moment the 'minor distraction' seems pretty major. I can only hope that in time it blends more into the background and assumes an acceptable proportion of my attention."
Saffie, I don't think it's accepting the circumstances, it's more like looking at all options and choosing what's best for my children and me. It's also knowing that if I hold onto the pain and anger I only hurt myself. I know! I've done this before. The first affair took me 5 years to get through. I just don't want to waste my time going through that again. I also do realize affairs can always happen no matter who you are married to. I could divorce my husband, remarry and the next guy could do the same thing. Sheesh!!! look how many people are here? Notice how many relationship books touch on affairs? Anyhow, I've learned that even "the best" people and those we love can go through times of weaknesses or become misguided. You cannot take it personally and you cannot control it. All I can do is work on myself. My own strength, my own sense of self-esteem and self-worth... just love myself and love the people around me... freely and generously. Getting unconditional love is a very special gift. I have to hope that my husband will realize this and recognize how valuable it is. But I can't necessarily trust in his ability to always realize this. In the end, if he throws this away, he's the one who loses.
I understand negative thought patterns and fixation (I have a child with OCD and I have a tendency to do this too!), but what I've also learned, and have come to understand is we can change this.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Your outlook and the way you describe how you see things seems like such a good place to be to me. I feel that I am fighting circumstances all the time.If its down to choices, (which it usually is), then I would find it v.hard to put myself in another relationship where another person could hurt me so much. At the moment, even though things on the surface seem ok with H, I am so worried that I am going to get hurt again that I question my ability to commit. A large part of me wants to run away as I don't feel I want to let anyone be close enough to me to hurt me that badly again. There won't be a 'next guy' if it doesn't work with H. If there is another A then I am OUT.
How can one not take it personally when your H has told you that it is 'your fault' that it happened?? I am not in a place where I can feel as confident about myself as you appear to. I have little self value or self esteem. I know I should feel better about myself but I don't.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Of course it's not your fault that it happened. He is being childish. He needs to take responsibility for his actions. The book After the Affair is very clear about this. You both need to read the chapter on blaming others for your affair. My husband tried this on me and I rejected it completely. The book helped. He doesn'[t dare say that one any more.
but I know in my head that its really 