Stillme's Chapters Continue Some More

[stillme]

Sunshine, I reeaalllly don't feel comfortable offering advice on this one. I JUST read the book myself. It seems to call to me - for MY particular sitch - and I've decided to follow it for me. But I really don't know how it will go. For you - I know you're not that far post-bomb and have only 'really' started DBing (or doing it most correctly). Certainly, certainly, continue DBing. But this Tough Love - Very easy to morph into Tough Sh!t. The Control thing (my admitted issue) is a hard one to, well, control when we're getting into Respect. I believe we cannot MAKE someone respect us (as in change their mind if they don't WANT to respect us) but Tough Love calls for us to Respect Ourselves &, with the Crisis Confrontation, set that respect boundary around us as it relates to our Spouse. Very, very tricky. LOVING respect (as is LOVING Detachment) is so very important.

I'm not sure, really, whether this is warranted in your sitch (or warranted NOW) tho I'll try to pop on over & re-review later today when I'm back online. I know you're H has been all about needing re-assurances from you. He's NOT disrespecting you, tho (right?) & he doesn't have an OW (right?) - so what boundary are you wanting to set?

Anyway, this is better posted on your own thread, so - like I said, I'll check you out later.

Think about it.