Getting started

[waw1978]

Last night wasn't great. DH is pushing for me to commit to future activities...ie. an 8 day trip to LA/Vegas for a wedding in august, riding with him on his new motorcycle that he wants to buy. I just completely withdrew. I was at the house to spend time with D4 but after she went to bed I just wanted to be alone. I know this must sound awful to the LBS here. But I am trying to figure this out. I don't want to make an awful mistake and have my little girl lose out on a great family. DH is the best Dad anyone could ever want and I admire that. This is one of the reasons I stuck around long after I knew I wasn't happy.

I felt like a stranger in my own house last night. Like I was visiting. I can't take this being in limbo and spending a night at the parents and then nights home to be with D4. I am living out of a bag most nights and its not a secure feeling and I am very sad and depressed. DH is insistant that I not take D4 out of the house with me. I actually got the impression he thinks I might snatch her or something...totally offending I might add.

Anyway, my Dad called this AM and his duplex will be empty and ready for me to move in to soon. I have a vacation that i planned with DH the second week on July. I guess thats when I will be moving out completely. So instead of nice vacation I will be packing, moving into an empty place and probably having a yard sale since I have accumulated so much crap and have no $$$ to buy furniture with.