Are you sure? I've never heard of anyone making major changes without being able to calmly focus his attention on unpleasant facts about himself. In fact I've never heard of anyone needing major changes who didn't react with avoidance, evasion, passive-agressiveness, or hostility to anyone directing his attention to some of the unpleasant facts about himself. I don't see how he could have made those changes without first becoming able to closely read what you've written about him with some measure of equanimity.
You know Eddie you could be right. I know my H is someone that plays his cards close to his chest. One of the new and and welcome things about his behaviour is "alpha male" stuff. I feel like he has been taking lessons from Blackfoot.
On Saturday he did a beta thing by asking if he could go diving next weekend but he'd make up for it by getting some jobs out of the way. I just said "Please mummy, can I can I?" and then "I'm going to go out and come back in again - this time ask me like an alpha man". And sure enough the second time he said "I'm going diving next weekend, what's at the top of your list and I'll get it out the way this weekend"
Just last night he grabbed me round the waist, kissed me and said: "Make me that toastie then get your knickers off - I've got something special planned for you. Phew! That's the kind of talk that gets my motor running. Naturally the toastie was made "with love" which always makes it extra yummy.
It's a whole different vibe, instead of "I suppose to get what I want I've got to give you something" it's more "I'm taking what I want, but don't worry - I'll see you get what you want"
Things also seemed to have settled down from the night and morning HD-ness to a more natural 2-3 times a week, which is great and fits in better with my own level of desire so I can be more responsive rather than thinking "uh oh - not again"
So Hi Babe if you're reading. You're doing a great job and I love it.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
