Thanks for the encouraging post, mkultra. \:\)

I got to see one of my SIL on the weekend. I haven't seen any of my BIL, SIL, nieces or nephews since before Christmas, so it was great to catch up with one of them, (though there are still many more, as it's quite a large family). I was out with MIL and FIL and we were near where SIL lives and they'd been wanting to go and meet her new puppy, so I got to go along for the visit as well. \:\) When we were leaving, she was holding Phoebe (her puppy) and waving her little paw, saying "Goodbye grandad, goodbye grandma, goodbye Aunty Jo." It's kinda tragic how happy it made me to still be considered "Aunty" to her little canine baby. \:D

H mentioned the lawyer again in his latest email:

I asked the lawyer to email the certificate back to you. Did you get it? They're getting a bit impatient as to what's happening with the consent orders as well. They really just want to know if you're going to agree to them. Every time they ask me about it on the phone or by letter they're charging me more money too :P And from my perspective I'd like to have it sorted before I go to Africa.

First of all, I'm hoping he just made a mistake and actually asked them to mail me the M certificate, because emailing it to me isn't gonna get the original back in my hands, is it? Either way, I haven't gotten it. I'm tempted to call the L and tell them I'm coming to pick it up in person.

Secondly, I'm once again *this close* to getting nasty with my reply by saying something about how it was his own stupid idea to get a L involved, so I don't care if they're charging him constantly.

One thing I'm wondering is that perhaps my friendly nature in the emails has led him to believe that I'm no longer standing for our M. Maybe he thinks I'm over it. I always do my best to be upbeat whenever I'm around my ILs or mutual friends, (the few who still have anything to do with me), and I haven't asked anyone about H in ages.

I want him to know that I am still standing for our M, but if I make an obvious point about that, then maybe this friendly email interaction will come to a screeching halt and it'll just be a massive setback.

My brain is telling me to just keep biding my time, but my heart wants to reply to that email saying something like:
"Signing those legal forms is much more to me than just writing my name on a bunch of pieces of paper. I still consider you to be my H, and I your W, and I still very much hope and believe that we can make our M work at some point in the future, despite the fact that you already believe you're done and moved on. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of a L being involved in our R like this, and I honestly want nothing to do with it. So no, I won't be signing the damn forms, so you may as well just pay up your L to get them off your back."

*groan* I just don't know what to say. I want him to know that the option to reconcile is still there, but at the same time I don't want to scare him away. If there's anyone reading this who has some advice as to how I should reply to this latest email, (which I'll be doing by Friday at the latest), I'd love to hear it!

Originally Posted By: mkultra
In regards o worrying about the OW, we all need to stop doing that since that is out of our control and there is no competition. I look at the whole Team Aniston and Team Angelina thing and I do see the OW getting pregnant a lot in the media and that is a concern but we have to focus on ourselves.

I try telling myself that whenever I start obsessing over H with OW: "You can't control it so just forget about it!" That's a whole lot easier said than done though.


Me:30
H:30
Together:10yr
H left:Oct3'06,couple weeks before 5th wed anniv.
No Kids
OW bomb:Jan19'07
My thread: He filed.