Willing NJ H -- I know this is a very hard time for you, I am in a pretty similar situation with my H. I do know that counseling has helped me tremendously to see how I contributed to the communication problems, so I encourage you to try that, it will help you in ALL your relationships. My H is similar to your W, he makes overtures about being friends and then gets distant after I accept. I think we may be giving our spouses too much control? My H also is not telling his family we are having issues. Sounds like a bad case of wanting your cake and eating it too! I'm trying the Last Resort technique -- all the other advice seems to only apply to couples where both partners want to work on things -- as opposed to wanting to 'be friends'
