STOP taking everything she says as the end. Give her some damn space, let her work things out. If she says she's done, say, "I'm sorry to hear that." Or, "I'd rather our marriage work but if you'll be happier divorced than giving our family one more chance, then all I ever wanted was for you to be happy." Let her chew on that, let her do all the D work, you just protect yourself and your kids, and let things work themselves out.
