He's still with her, and I'm moving on...

[Hope_11]

Thanks BeingMe. My first thread contains more info on my sitch. My H and I been married for 5 years and together for 11. We have been struggling with infertility issues for 3 years and I believe the built up anger and frustration about that is what caused my H to have an affair. That is just my opinion, and God only knows what the truth is.

I am very concerned about what kind of husband my H will be to me in the future if we would get back together. However, I am honoring my wedding vows and take marriage very seriously. You don't just walk out when things don't go your way. I never expected him to cheat on me. It is very scary to have someone that you trust with your whole heart betray you and then believe that they won't do this to you again. I am putting my faith in God that he will guide me on what to do, and at this point I feel like he is telling me to move on. Unless, I see a miracle in my H soon, we will be over.

My H has spent the last 8 months running away. He has not dealt with any of his feelings or tried to figure out why this happened. He is still seeing OW and has spent all his time running to her. How can you tell someone that you won't do this again if you don't even know why it happened and when you are still seeing the problem? I feel like I gave my H everything that I have and that is why I am choosing to move on at this point. He is mean and disrespectful to me. Somedays he treats me worse than he should treat his enemy and I am his wife. I try to tell myself that this is not the man that I married. This is a man who couldn't handle the struggles of life and made bad choices, and can't live with himself. He hates himself. If he was happy, I would have let him go along time ago. I not only have been hurt by him, I have to stand back and watch someone that I care about so deeply self-destruct, while this conniving OW is standing by his side and doesn't even realize what a mess she made of him. It is a very sad situation, but at this point, I have to step back and say it's your life and you are going to have to live it. I care about you, but you are a grown man and are making your own choices, just don't expect me to be there to pick up the pieces.

My own family is there for me, but I have not relied on them much because I didn't want to make reconciling with my H any harder than it has to be. We also have been closer with his family during our M.

I can't wait for this vacation. I really need to get away.