I need some understanding from the men out there.

[DERaven]

Posted without seeing Fearless' post.

Cemar,
Seeing as I am "THE MAN" in this case, I thought I might offer my 2 cents.

2) Men don't need sex from women, Men need DESIRE from their wives, which can't really happen WITHOUT sex. Again, this can ONLY come from a LOVER, which his wife is supposed to be.

I don't agree with this. I feel very desired by fearless. She showers me with complements, tells me how much she admires me as a man and as a father, tells me how hot I am, carresses me, hugs me, etc. How little would we need to be having sex for me not to believe this is desire? I know she desires me because she tells me and shows me outside of the bedroom. If for some reason (living in the real world) we were not having sex very often but she is still exhibits the above behaviors, should I discount these and assume she no longer desires me?

Also, I noticed that you said if he trys the next day, you will allow it to happen. This is another form of rejection. If EVERY SINGLE time the initiator is the MAN, he will get wise to this and will start resenting you for not pursuing him. Most couples when dating, the WOMAN actually INITATES on many occasions. This is ALSO a huge rejection of the man. Women who really DESIRE their men initiate with them on occasion.

There is no problem here. Fearless does plenty of initiating. Also, I don't take it personally. Fearless is rejecting the act of sex: NOT ME! She is tired, ill, whatever. It doesn't matter. I know it is not about me it is about the act. Her actions outside the bedroom show that to me and I believe her. When she turns down sex (not me) I... wait for it...ACT AS IF it is about the act and not me. Neither one of us is hurt, insulted, etc. and either one of us can freely initiate the next time without and baggage.

I'm sorry Cemar, but I just believe that communication and understanding go an awfully long way. I had to learn it the hard way. I had a WAW. I hope it does not come down to that for you. I hope you or your wife do not end up a WA.

Raven