Quote: I just don't know anymore...h isn't "in love" with me and I wonder really if I am in love with him.
I don't know, I still don't know. will we both be happy?? or will we simply be content?? is that enough??
You know, even in my "positive" situation, I ask myself these same questions. Over time, a certain amount of damage is done to our Rs. For us whose Ses have had As, it's a bit more problematic. I think that over time, if our Ses eventually come to the party, things will improve. For me, I'm still trying to get over the damage of the A. I find that in order to do this, I have to cut off some of my feelings in order to cope...almost forcing myself to "feel" less to avoid the pain. This leads me to not really feeling that "in love" feeling so much. Maybe we all do this to an extent and that if both parties are willing to really and truly work on a R, then these things eventually flush themselves out.
LL, the background of my R with my W is very similar to yours, so I can understand the dynamics. For me, we began dating at 15 and 16, broke up a few times, then got back together for good when we were 19 and 20. My W primarily initiated the breakups...I think because of her not being "in love." This should have been a red flag for me before M, but so be it. My point here is that I don't think she's felt that "in love" feeling for many many years...possibly since the first couple years of our R...and we were young. This has been her "justification" for the last year. However, I think that (like I previously said), with work from both parties, you and I can achieve the R we want with our S. Problem is, I'm afraid that it will always be slightly tainted...and we have to get beyond this to improve our Rs. I know it's risky, but necessary.
