Tiny Ray of Light....IV

[JR2007]

You're sounding like your mind is made up, but I'm going to tell you this anyway.

EA does NOT = PA. And you can get over both if you wanted to.

I'll share a bit with you on my situation:

I think my W has an EA going on, I have some pretty good proof, but Jazz and 789 convinced me it could be completely innocent. Regardless of what they say, I don't CARE if she's having an EA. If she is, it's my own damn fault. I didn't talk to my wife, I didn't speak her love language, I didn't let her be her. This other person is a huge douche-bag for getting involved, but what's he supposed to do? A woman that looks like my W who starts chatting him up (and they're old friends, they grew up together, blah, blah, blah) is not going to get ignored as he looks semi-retarded and acts about the same way. BUT, he LISTENS, he's ATTENTIVE, he's feeding her need to talk about drama in her life right now, because he figures he has a shot at my W. And his shot is probably not a lot less likely than my own at this point. I have NO problem forgiving them both, and when this is all over, I'll completely forget!

So, what do I do? Do I give up, do I blame, do I confront and fight with her? Um, NO! That would push her away so damn fast my head would spin. I change! I become more attractive to her than him. I give her what she desires, only I have an advantage - 11 years MARRIED and a great son that we both adore! No one else has that kind of awareness (especially since I got hit with a brick 3 months ago), and no one has more desire to help her feel loved than me. So, I continue the fight. I'm patient. I let the changes sink to my core. I look to the bright future we will have. I think how happy my S will be to have us all together again. I think of how happy she and I will be with S4. See? OM DOES NOT MATTER! HE DOES NOT PLAY IN! He has no chance. He's a victim of circumstance and he'll be let down very soon...

So, if you're done, that's your choice. I don't think a lot of people would blame you. However, MAKE SURE you've done everything possible to get your family back. If you feel comfortable that you have, then you won't have any regrets.

Good Luck man, I'll keep you in my prayers...

Do you see anywhere in there where I stated it matters what they say to each other?

Do you really think your W is "IN LOVE" with another man already? That's not even possible dude because that's not love.

She got bored, she found a douche-bag to pay attention to her and it's helping her not be bored. He's speaking her love language, or doing something she wasn't getting from you. That's IT! Give yourself some damn space, let her come to you when she sees you're moving forward. If you can't do that, you're going to drive yourself nuts (you're on your way judging by your posts today.)

Take a breather, and then think things through again...