Hello ll! Just passing thru and tried to catch up with your posts. Sounds like you are down and discouraged right now. <<<HUGS>>>. Can I give my $.02 worth here? Oops! Too late...lol.
This is just from my own humble experience. It may or may not apply to your circumstances. My h really resisted any kind of R talks, reading anything to "enlighten" him, and resented me trying to "change" him (his take on it).
When I stopped doing these things, my H (later) told me that he appreciated being given the space to sort things out. We still had lengthly conversations about everyday things, mutual interests,friends, and family but I avoided bringing up relationship issues between us.
It was like relating to him as a friend with no expectations for him to be my H. It was a process that took a lot of patience and yes I did "blow it" several times.
My H was "exploring" an EA at the time, I believe, and as I let go of my "H" expectations for him and related more to him as a friend, he responded back to me by allowing himself slowly to trust me with his emotional stuff again.
We are slowly trying to sort things out now. He even agreed to joint counselling (after being adamant months ago that it wouldn't help). We are trying to learn new communication techniques that will work for us. And yes, the handouts that our C gave us he still hasn't read but I am not going to "remind him" that we "have to" do this.
My h's MLC will ebb and flow the way it does. Better days are happenning more often for us right now. I hope that you find some encouragement here. You talked about some goals you have (emt training). Right on! Please take care of yourself and treat yourself to things that bring YOU some happiness and let you know that you are worth it because you are!! All the best to you lostlove!
