Quote: I am one who has never been afraid to be blunt...if you don't want to know what I really think..then don't talk to me! (that's always been my way) with the introduction of dr I've learned that bluntness (or as I prefer to call it blatant honesty) was not productive...my h had been having an ea then left me...I had to stop being blunt with him...had to act as if..etc..
Christ, LL, I KNOW you're this way. Difference is, before you read DR I assume you approached your displeasure with a bit more "tenacity?" My point is, now after all of your soul searching, reading, examining, etc., that you know far better how to communicate than you did previously. Can one not be REALLY blunt and kind at the same time? This is what I meant...
Quote: I talked to him about how ironic it is that when I was trying to show him love by...cooking, cleaning, wanting to spend time with him, wanting to be physical with him, taking care of him..he somehow got the message that I hated him... so then why should I feel loved? the messages are not sent in the right manner. I talked about ow briefly only to point out that it was unlikely that he was cleaning up for her, doing dishes, caring for her kids, cleaning her car and running errands for her...and if he wasn't being physical with her...then how was it that he was showing or expressing those "in love" feelings that he had for her???
Did he say nothing when you mentioned this about OW? Frankly, your H needs to read "5 Love Languages." He's trying to show you he cares for you by doing things he likes you to do for him rather than doing things you like. LL, at least the effort is there.
