Tiny Ray of Light...Pt III

[NMHurting]

Well she was my world, and I was pretty bad at showing it for a very long time. I accept that for the first one.

I own that.

But here we are again..at some point she has to repent and take her own responsibility for her actions.

She asked for the divorce...I didn't.

Sometimes things aren't meant to be I guess.

[*KS*Chick*]

Do you have proof that she cheated?

[NMHurting]

To me an EA is just as bad as a PA. Cheating is cheating.

[*KS*Chick*]

OK - then file.

[AmyC]

From the first time, yup.

She never repented for that one either. As a matter of fact she REFUSED to apologize in counseling for it.

Did you ever figure out what she was so angry about?

[AmyC]

To me an EA is just as bad as a PA. Cheating is cheating.

Bullcrap.

I know you're not trying to spin that I-was-a-wonderful-loving-available-husband-and-she-still-cheated-on-me BS on us up in here 'cause let me tell you, our boots are waist high, buddy.

I have a going theory.

Work with me...

"50 percent of the bitch she is, I created"

Would you agree or disagree?

[JR2007]

To me an EA is just as bad as a PA. Cheating is cheating.

You're sounding like your mind is made up, but I'm going to tell you this anyway.

EA does NOT = PA. And you can get over both if you wanted to.

I'll share a bit with you on my situation:

I think my W has an EA going on, I have some pretty good proof, but Jazz and 789 convinced me it could be completely innocent. Regardless of what they say, I don't CARE if she's having an EA. If she is, it's my own damn fault. I didn't talk to my wife, I didn't speak her love language, I didn't let her be her. This other person is a huge douche-bag for getting involved, but what's he supposed to do? A woman that looks like my W who starts chatting him up (and they're old friends, they grew up together, blah, blah, blah) is not going to get ignored as he looks semi-retarded and acts about the same way. BUT, he LISTENS, he's ATTENTIVE, he's feeding her need to talk about drama in her life right now, because he figures he has a shot at my W. And his shot is probably not a lot less likely than my own at this point. I have NO problem forgiving them both, and when this is all over, I'll completely forget!

So, what do I do? Do I give up, do I blame, do I confront and fight with her? Um, NO! That would push her away so damn fast my head would spin. I change! I become more attractive to her than him. I give her what she desires, only I have an advantage - 11 years MARRIED and a great son that we both adore! No one else has that kind of awareness (especially since I got hit with a brick 3 months ago), and no one has more desire to help her feel loved than me. So, I continue the fight. I'm patient. I let the changes sink to my core. I look to the bright future we will have. I think how happy my S will be to have us all together again. I think of how happy she and I will be with S4. See? OM DOES NOT MATTER! HE DOES NOT PLAY IN! He has no chance. He's a victim of circumstance and he'll be let down very soon...

So, if you're done, that's your choice. I don't think a lot of people would blame you. However, MAKE SURE you've done everything possible to get your family back. If you feel comfortable that you have, then you won't have any regrets.

Good Luck man, I'll keep you in my prayers...

[789]

To me an EA is just as bad as a PA. Cheating is cheating.

I thought for the first month or so in the begining my W was diffently having a EA and even possibly a PA. How wrong I was, and that was not by her telling me she wasn't. It was my mind going wild, not saying yours is diffent, but be positive first.

Also after thinking about it, it could be said I was having a EA after we split, but it wasn't. It was a female friend who is happily married and was there for my support, nothing more and nothing less, but to anyone else it could have seemed alot different.