M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
and frank_d I almost always agree totally with your comments, but one little one made me cringe. You said, "sex=intimacy" and I simply don't believe all women feel that way at all times. In fact, certain types of discussions, physical affection without sex, like holding hands while taking a long walk, going to a dramatic/funny play, etc. are sometimes far more intimate for a woman. That can lead to sex which can lead to intimacy or it can lead to intimacy and then that intimacy can lead to sex... Make sense?
My h seems to feel that sex IS intimacy and his need for other types of it is low, but my need for other forms of intimacy (in addition to ml) is much higher and that has been an issue. Especially since his work was so time consuming he lacked much energy for romance or friendship and intimacy of other forms. And although this might be unfair to him, there are times it looks selfish to me for him to only have focussed on that one form of intimacy. BTW, I have a high libido, so that isn't an issue. Anyhow, I don't want to belabor the point. Just food for thought. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
and frank_d I almost always agree totally with your comments, but one little one made me cringe. You said, "sex=intimacy" and I simply don't believe all women feel that way at all times. In fact, certain types of discussions, physical affection without sex, like holding hands while taking a long walk, going to a dramatic/funny play, etc. are sometimes far more intimate for a woman. That can lead to sex which can lead to intimacy or it can lead to intimacy and then that intimacy can lead to sex... Make sense?
Yes, that's really what I meant in my very SHORT comment of (sex=intimacy). I meant that sex is a path to intimacy. Thank you for so eloquently explaining that concept better!
Well fresh back from vacation, and I need to rest up. I'm a crazy person on vacation, don't rest much just go like heck. I keep saying I'm gonna take one of those quiet vacations where you just lay around and rest, but it never happens. It's go, go, go.
Anyway, nothing much new to report; however, many baby steps. I scored some major points. MEN take notes: I called a cleaning service to have the whole house cleaned right before we left. W was very grateful and I even heard her bragging to her friends about it. Better than flowers and candy. I also bought her some of her favorite candy before we left. She was stressed out as usual while we were packing and getting ready to go, but I was patient. At least until she started snapping at me at which time I smiled at her and told her if she did'nt stop being a bad girl that I'd have to take care of her. Well that kind of took the wind out of her sails and released some of the tension.
We were far more touchy feely than we were on our last vacation. I'm taking most opportunity's to be flirty, but not pushing her for intimacy. It's just going to happen naturally, I have no doubt about it. She's gonna want it more and more and more. She simply can not fight the sexual charm and power that I have over her.
I thought I was going to get some the night we came home, but we were both exhausted. We were at some friends for dinner and W was telling the ladies about this chic that was after me when we were separated. She told them that this chic said "I will have that man", about me. I just grinned a grin like, "oh she was only one of MANY that wanted me"!
I'm going to order one of those little toys for her. See how she responds. I think it will totally blow her mind. She'll not expect that in a million years from me. She'll wonder about me, and want to keep close to me. She'll realize that I just might be able to unleash her inner sexual goddess afterall. Oh she's gonna fall, gonna go wild with me it's only a matter of time.
So W and kid's are all out of town this week. It's just me, the dog, the remote control and my dreams.
Take care all and keep fighting the good fight!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
it's a good thing we don't know each other...you're getting to me. j
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
COGmyster - how did the holiday on the island go? Did it rain the whole time? I hope not but Vancouver Island can be very rainy at the best of times. Good thing the surroundings are worth it.
Glad you are back and look forward to your postings once again
(and no, I still haven't scored )
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
it's a good thing we don't know each other...you're getting to me.
I know what you mean, it's getting a little steamy in here is'nt it.
Heywyre,
The holiday was great! Weather was real nice, a little windy a day or so, but only a few drops of rain. No complaints for sure. It's a beautiful place. A little more developed than I imagined but still beautiful and the locals always friendly.
Quote:
I still haven't scored
YET, you have'nt scored YET! :)Give it all you've got lady. Keep on thinking about what YOU can do to change it up. Some new clothes, a little space, getting you body in shape, a different attitude, whatever you can think of that might make a difference. The little things definately add up.
It's a game people. Demands different stratedgies, new attitudes, and expanded outlooks. Play to win!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
Yes it is definitely a game and I was never good at games.
But I have managed to get a rise (no pun intended) out of him a couple of times so I do think he is coming around, slowly but surely and I do intend in "scoring" eventually
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
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