Tiny Ray of Light...Pt III

[NMHurting]

(sigh)

W- nope no pressure but its the truth..i cant get the loan without you, so know your pissed at me and you are pulling the money..so i totally feel like you WERE trying to buy me becasue if you werent you would have no issues with the loan..i was feeling really good about myself and where my life was headed and in the last 12 hours that has been totally taken away from me. between you, my mother and D12 it has been pulled. Seems like when ever i start feeling good about my self no one likes it so they have to beat me down.

Tell me that doesn't scream MLC

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Me -It has nothing to do with buying you. That's a guilt trip. If that was the case I would be more likely to throw the money at you and walk away. That was my old pattern. Case and point...the hound...the laptop..I could go on and on.

It has to do with my involvement. I told you this was something I was willing to do with you...as in together. As in a family. Well from what has happened in the last 12 hours that dynamic has changed. I wanted to be part of the dream, not just the means to achieve it. I wanted to build this together for both you and D12 showing you that I could give without requiring something material in return.

Your life can still feel good about where you have it headed if you want to. It doesn't revolve around this loan.

Since you've opened the door to feelings. I was feeling good about where you and I were headed until the last 12 hours as well. We hadn't had a fight in forever. I thought we were communicating better. I was enjoying your company (though that feels like it was a one way street today). I was feeling like your friend again...which was a start. You have been delaying the divorce I thought because you wanted to work on things slowly. Now I feel like it was just to get the money.

Keep looking for horses, but don't pressure me. I said before I decided I needed time to think and we needed to talk. Well we're talking.
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How'd I do?