Quote: Well, I guess the question you need to ask yourself is whether you think it would help or hurt.
depends on whether or not she reads it. she could get angry at "someone" having sent her info that would pull at the doubt about what she's doing. or she could be thankful that someone cared enough to show her there is a possibility of repairing the r she must have at some point had with her h. and of course if she did suspect me she would have reason to contact h if she isn't already. doubt that my h would go back to her, think he's realized the importance of "family" and relationships and knows that there is nothing here that warrents his leaving...other than that lost feeling...wich I see is back just gets hidden occasionally from time to time in the trials of daily living!!
How are you? Sounds like a lot of things are going through your head. But I had to say that things seemed to have gone well, with a date and everything. Of course, I heard your disappointment with the night not ended in a climax...
Oh well, I think you answered the question about what changed in LL most emphatically that you would do a-okay with or without your H. That is a very strong statement telling yourself to look at this sitch with an open mind. I have to say you have been doing great in that regards. Look at the good things you recognized for the dinner and movie; an first-time DB'er probably would not be able to tell (I knew I couldn't when I first started).
On the other hand, please also recognize that it takes time to turn your H around in his attitude. I know you hate to hear this, but your H also needs time to grieve a bit about OW; in the mean time, he does a pretty good job taking care of your family (well, take this with a grain of salt since, duh, I was the one who got dumped despite working hard and being faithful since they are not enough...) You are doing the right thing to look at things with in a positive light while trying everything to make your H understand what you want. Patience probably is what you need at this point.
On the other hand, I have one more thought: leave alone the OW, both with the books and with your mind. I guess it does not serve any purpose besides making her decide to save her own M; or, in a more likely scenario, the $$ you spend to buy her books are just going down the drain and she would not appreciate, or even become agitated because of this. Besides your short-term satisfaction, there is probably nothing else to gain. But, again, this advise is from a guy that wanted to confront OM so bad just a week ago; so take this thought for what it is worth.
All in all, I did not mean to dismiss your frustration. You are doing the best you can and it just takes time to change things, for both your H's and your own attitude towards your M. I see all positive steps you are making. Just don't want myself to get too jealous, though...
When Libra and Aquarius join in a love match, their relationship can serve to heighten and strengthen both Signs' consciousness. These two connect on a high mental level; they share a love of art, people and culture; they both abhor restrictive influences in their lives. They are likely to get along well because they have such similar needs and will not require more of one another than they're both willing to give. Both Signs are also very energetic, enthusiastic types; this relationship is not likely to become stagnant.
Both Aquarius and Libra are concerned with the betterment of the world and their fellow people. Aquarius is the most progressive thinker of the Zodiac, and they always have a new idea in the works. Libra is the diplomat of the Zodiac; abhorring conflict of any sort, they are born balancers (hence their Symbol, the Scales). Libra's urge to avoid conflict put together with a love of intellectual freedom can lead them to be somewhat indecisive at times; when this happens, more decisive Aquarius can step in and help Libra figure out which direction to turn. Libra can return the favor by smoothing Aquarius's occasionally ruffled feathers that result from the Water Bearer's idealistic thinking sometimes crashing down in the face of reality.
oh he is!! everyone thinks he's wonderful...and yet no one really knows him..
was funny the other night on our "date" I knda felt like a little old lady...chivalry is not dead with this man, gives me his elbow when we walk, opens all doors for me, comes around to help me out of the car etc....
well it must be a good day as I don't have a whole lot to say but didn't like seeing myself sitting on pg 2.
h fell asleep on the couch last night (he was tired from having been out plowing) as he walked in the door last evening the kiddos running to him with hugs...the phone rang our neighbor had moved her car to the street and hoped that h could come back and give the drive another pass...I stayed on the phone with her for a few as she broke down in tears...her h had to leave the state to get work and has been there since...well months anyway..he was able to be home over christmas and for the birth of their third child but had to go back yesterday...so now she is home with 3 young children alone..I offered to go over and help her out or just be there after h plowed the drive...she said she'd be ok...so i offered to watch the older of the babies so she could get some rest or just spend some quiet time with the newborn and also offered anything even if she just wanted me to cook dinner for them or something... she seemed more upbeat as the conversation went on (the two youngest are just 2 years apart, something I am familiar with as my two are 2 yrs 4 months apart) so I let her go knowing that I'm here if she needs anything, stressed the anything..so went back to h who was looking like he'd like to just crash..and let him know of the conversation...told him I like to be needed...he said you are needed!
that was that...h came back...took shower with son while I bathed dd. then h was sitting at table to eat...I thought he might like to spend that time with son so I offered for him to have a picnic in the family room so h and son sat on a blanket watching tv and eating ravioli's and garlic bread. too cute. then son went off to bed. I lit a fire and chilled h soon fell asleep on the couch. I tried to wake him but he was too gone so I left him there (to many nights of me draggin him up to bed with him getting irritated with me have made me to just leave him there, if he wakes in the night he knows where his bed is) son woke this am to find daddy on the couch, a silly sight for son, so they sat on the couch together while dd played in her playpen. when h did awake I was making toast...he came over an put his hands around my waist (ooooh boy now that's what I'm talkin about! not a sex thing just a nice thing)
I decided to take the kids to the gym today and try out the daycare and workout...so h helped me pack them in the car...off we went...off h went to work.
the gym went well, I sweat my but off for 20 min on a machine (an oliptical glider) and then did the circut (I'll feel that tommorow) took a quick shower and picked up the kids... they seemed to have been having fun but another little girl asked me where her mommy was.
came home made lunch and then son helped me bake another batch of chocolate chip cookies....I don't know it seems a batch a week lately...over the summer a batch would last months...h must be home.
Thanks for all your wise advice earlier. You are a great friend. H stopped by this afternoon to see if he needed to shovel but I had done a good job. The ice is thawing I think. Left a note saying he will call tonight. Dotto
Hey, LL just stopping by to say hi...sounds like things are ok...hope the good days are beginning to out number the down days! The longer days sure help and knowing that January is behind us really brightens things a little.
