Yes, both spouses need to make changes. So how does this happen:
1) Both spouses make changes conditionally. 2) Both spouses make changes unconditionally.
In order for either one of your options above to occur, SOMEONE must go FIRST. Seems you are waiting for her to either do it first, because some sort of "AHA!!!" moment clubed her over the head, or do it with you at the same time. It doesn't work that way. As far as any of us knows, or even Mrs. CeMar knows, everything is fine with your R. What's there for her to be changing if she thinks eveything is fine?
And don't tell me, she SHOULD KNOW. She obviously doesn't. Change your part of the R. It is the only thing you have control over.
