That's fine. I can come to forgiveness eventually. But that doesn't make the task at hand any clearer. I'm not sure I can continue trying to make this work with such behavior. I love her. She is my true love. But when love is not returned...
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
W - I need an idea about the loan so either i can continue to look for horses or stop.
Me - I told you I'm not going to make a decision when emotions are this high. You're trying to pressure me.
W - fine then i will stop looking for horses and let D12 know that horses are no longer an option...
Me - I said I need time to think. I didn't say it was off. But don't pressure me. Makes me feel like that's the only reason you're even speaking to me is about the money.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Don't do it eventually, do it now. That will help make things clearer. It'll make it easier for you to move forward. You're holding on so tight that you can't get a clear view of what you need to do to get through this, one way or the other, in better shape than you started. Forgiveness will free you of some of that pain and hurt you're feeling and free you to see things more clearly.
Try it, it can't hurt, right?
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Don't do it eventually, do it now. That will help make things clearer. It'll make it easier for you to move forward. You're holding on so tight that you can't get a clear view of what you need to do to get through this, one way or the other, in better shape than you started. Forgiveness will free you of some of that pain and hurt you're feeling and free you to see things more clearly.
Try it, it can't hurt, right?
I forgave and tried to work through it once JR..and look what it got me. Divorce papers.
I only have two cheeks...
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I'd love to. My therapist is out of town this week and I don't have a pastor. I am not one for conformed religion, although I have it.
I won't go into the specifics but basically I don't need somebody explaining their interpetation of a book to me, I will stick with my own interpetation of the same book...
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
W- nope no pressure but its the truth..i cant get the loan without you, so know your pissed at me and you are pulling the money..so i totally feel like you WERE trying to buy me becasue if you werent you would have no issues with the loan..i was feeling really good about myself and where my life was headed and in the last 12 hours that has been totally taken away from me. between you, my mother and D12 it has been pulled. Seems like when ever i start feeling good about my self no one likes it so they have to beat me down.
Tell me that doesn't scream MLC
[/quote] Me -It has nothing to do with buying you. That's a guilt trip. If that was the case I would be more likely to throw the money at you and walk away. That was my old pattern. Case and point...the hound...the laptop..I could go on and on.
It has to do with my involvement. I told you this was something I was willing to do with you...as in together. As in a family. Well from what has happened in the last 12 hours that dynamic has changed. I wanted to be part of the dream, not just the means to achieve it. I wanted to build this together for both you and D12 showing you that I could give without requiring something material in return.
Your life can still feel good about where you have it headed if you want to. It doesn't revolve around this loan.
Since you've opened the door to feelings. I was feeling good about where you and I were headed until the last 12 hours as well. We hadn't had a fight in forever. I thought we were communicating better. I was enjoying your company (though that feels like it was a one way street today). I was feeling like your friend again...which was a start. You have been delaying the divorce I thought because you wanted to work on things slowly. Now I feel like it was just to get the money.
Keep looking for horses, but don't pressure me. I said before I decided I needed time to think and we needed to talk. Well we're talking. [/quote]
How'd I do?
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I don't think i can hang on anymore...