How does one stop fixating on the OW and move on?

[jtodd]

Saffie-I found out last weekend my H was having an E. affair w/ my best friend. I was/am so disgusted, angry, hurt, all those feelings you probably have. I actually called her-it may have helped that I actually knew her . But boy did i want to call her everyone name in the book. I tried to be as calm as possible though for my sake mostly. Since i wanted to know every last detail so that my mind wouldn't blow things up worse than they were, i asked her if there was anything else i needed to know. she probably didn't tell the truth but after she cried her eyes out and apologized like crazy, I don't know it accomplished much, but it almost made me feel better, like she finally connected that she had hurt a REAL person, not just the OW.
I'm not saying you should call the OW-think about what you want to accomplish, what you would say, and what if you don't get what you want, how will you feel then. You might want to think it over 3 or 4 times b/c it could make things worse. Good luck.