I've already forgiven for one affair that happened three years ago. I have forgiven, but not forgot. I'm not sure I can do it again...and she is definately not trying. It's all me right now.
There is no forgiveness without forgetting.
Likewise there is no repentence without forsaking the sin, so...
Honestly NM, I think you just have to quit worrying about what she's doing. It's a damn shame your D has to be involved in seeing inappropriate things, but you're going to get blames every time. Do what you can to protect D and leave W to figure out her own mess. Stop being available to her and focus on you and D.
What else can you do right now that won't drive you nuts?
Good luck...
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
I disagree. There is forgiveness without forgetting. I've done it. I am doing it. But once bitten, twice shy as well.
I didn't ask for this to come to my attention. It wasn't like I was snooping or spying or whatever. But here it is. In my face.
Sadly the greatest hurt of all is that she doesn't accept or realize that she is loosing the trust of our kids.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
no NM. God forgives us and forgets our transgressions.......
There is not forgiveness without forgetting.......otherwise when you get to Heaven, God will say "well I forgave you for XYZ......" making you feel like crap for what you've done, even though you've asked and been forgiven....
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
She never repented for that one either. As a matter of fact she REFUSED to apologize in counseling for it.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
NM, I know you are hurting this morning and just want to "hide" from all of the hurt. I am right there with you..but we have to figure out how to rise above this hurt. We can't let one person control our emotions...yes I know it is harder done than said..that is my famous last words!! Just let all of your emotions out here...we will help you through them.
no NM. God forgives us and forgets our transgressions.......
There is not forgiveness without forgetting.......otherwise when you get to Heaven, God will say "well I forgave you for XYZ......" making you feel like crap for what you've done, even though you've asked and been forgiven....
Exactly.
NM, if you SAID you forgave your W, and she repented and had forsaken her sins, you HAVE to forget or the sin remains - sadly it remains with you for not letting go of the transgression. Forgiveness isn't JUST for the sinner, it's for the sinned against - it's for your personal strength.
If W has returned to her sins, it is upon her head of course, but you have to forgive her again for your sake. Doesn't mean you take her back if you can't, it just means you don't allow her sins to sink your soul into dispair.
It is required of us to forgive all men all their trespasses - the Lord says 7X70 times.
Take a break NM, you really need it. Go outside and feel the sun on your face and think of the things you're grateful for today.
Good luck!!!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Again...she never repented that I know of. She couldn't even apologize.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times? Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven! Matthew 18: 21-22
So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses. Matthew 18: 35
For I will be merciful and gracious toward their sins and I will remember their deeds of unrighteousness no more. Hebrews 8: 12
He then goes on to say, And their sins and their lawbreaking I will remember no more. Now where there is absolute remission (forgiveness and cancellation of the penalty) of these [sins and lawbreaking], there is no longer any offering made to atone for sin. Hebrews 10: 17-18
Forgiveness isn't just for her NM. It's for you also. Unfortunately we're supposed to forgive, over and over.......even if they don't ask.
You have to forgive her, even if you move forward with the D...so YOU don't become bitter...and so YOU can be forgiven of YOUR sins.
Sucks but that's how it is man.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
