I'm feeling really detached from H the past few days or so. I don't know if I like the feeling or not. Part of me is glad that the D sitch, OW, etc. isn't the first thing I think about when I wake up like it used to be, but I also don't like feeling so 'distant' from H either.

Sometimes I feel when he says he misses 'us,' that he's more talking about the boys. I'm getting a bit more comfortable saying things to him that I probably wouldn't have a month ago. This a.m. he said he had a really bad day and I said I wish I could give you a big hug and he said 'I'd take it' and I said 'well I hope so!'

Oh well, whatever will be will be, right? I'll just look forward to being able to go visit him and know that it will be an awesome experience for us and that we are on the right track. I guess even if the D sitch hadn't happened, w/ him being gone, there would be a little of the detachment going on anyway. I truly still believe that I am in a better place and our M is in a better place since the D sitch did happen.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10