Quoting lostlove: whatever h's problem is or isn't I really wish he would figure it out soon I am so tired of his inconsitancy, one day you get affection attention and the next you are nobody with no explenation behind it. wtf???
This is an area where Dbing has really helped me. One of the patterns that never worked and continued to strain our R was the way I would get wrapped up in my W's mood swings. The rapid frequency in which they would change always kept me offguard in how to interact and I would get pulled down with her. "Geez, you were all happy this morning, now what's got you down?" This was a major source of fiction between us and a start of alot of arguments. Just the opposite also contributed to the stress as well. She would succeed in pissing me off, and then all of a sudden she would be in a good mood. Well what gave her the right and I would hold a grudge.
Well, I've learned it works a lot better when I don't let myself get affected by her mood anymore. I know she will be continuing to ride her rollercoaster for a long time and I've come to learn to let it go. Accept the good times for what they are ... good times that will come and go. Relish in enjoying every moment when they are good, because you don't know for how long it will last.
When they're mood slams into reverse, say fine, time for me to find my enjoyment somewhere else. Its like fuel and oxygen, you need both for a fire to rage. Pull yourself out of the equation and the fire can't burn. Don't even waste your time wonder what is going thru their heads at the time. All this will do is drain your PMA and who needs that? Interact with total PMA so that instead of you getting suck into their mood, there's a good chance you can draw them into a better mood.
I'm not saying its easy, but with practice is does get easier, and does tend to work better most of the time. Actually the last couple of weeks, I've been knocked off my game here, but this week, I realized it and have started to rebound. My W has still been down, but for the last couple of days when she gives me that look like she looking for an argument, I just return a smile and redirect my attention elsewhere and refuse to "get into it" with her. Last nite, her mood changed and she got all humble and apoligetic about how she's been acting lately.
