Your post was really good, timely, and needed. I've been working SO hard on the "firm" and "detached" parts, that I do need to remember the "loving" part as well. I have tried to do that, in little things like helping her bring the groceries in from her car, or covering her with a blanket on the couch when she falls asleep, but in the arguments, too, I must inject something that shows her that I still love her, and that I am a safe path thru which she can return to the marriage.
It's hard to remember to do that, when you feel that Satan himself is staring you in the face, and spewing lies and venom at you.
