CA divorce law question

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I agree that those relationships are set for failure. I do have a problem, and I know it is in my own head. I have been with other women prior to marriage, she on the other hand has not been with any other men. I guess what I wonder is that if I had never been with anyone else, would my wondering lead me to stray, if that is the case, is this what she may be thinking, finding out then coming back. I believe if she is, that it is a waste of time, and possible destroying any chance of us getting back together.