it would have been slightly ridiculous and somewhat dishonest for me to say to my 2bx "I let myself feel hurt, inadequate and rejected when you said that I was too nerdy to f*ck" when clearly his intention wasn't to make me feel great by saying it. So maybe sometimes it is good to add a line to such statements such as "but really I should have felt angry
Very good point, e.g., "when you told me I was too nerdy to fcuk, I let myself feel hurt, etc., when what I should have done was kick your sorry a$$ to the curb for being so mean to me!"
or "...what I should have done was refused to tolerate one minute more of such abuse."
