Shocked H in NJ looking for DB help

[Willing NJ H]

Yesterday was her sisters graduation party. I hadn't heard from anyone on here in time, so I decided I wasn't going to go unless she asked, and got my dagughter ready for her. Just before leaving, she said "do you have plans? If not then why don't you come with us, it's not like we can't be friends." I went and all went well, but it's hard. Hearing the "friends" comment made me feel like my heart was ripped out and I was small enough to parachute off of a dime. At the picnic, everything felt like normal, except I knew it wasn't. We got home, and she was treating me like an awkward stranger again, shutting doors that we never shut on one another and I again had to sleep n the couch. I am so uncomfrtable not even being able to sleep in my own bed. Tonight we went to her cousins house, and the same thing. No one knows that we are separated except for our mothers and one or two friends. The rest of our family and friends have no idea. I feel like I'm living a lie, and just want this to pass. She seems so convinced that our being together "isn't right". I don't know how you guys can do this for two and three years? I'm going to post things as days go by when I feel like mush and need advice. Thanks again. Tell me what works for you!