Stillme's Chapters Continue Some More

[stillme]

Thanks Sunny, for the compliments about my posts (Tho what I think when I re-read them is: Damm! Can I NOT write a sentence that DOESN'T have some sort of tangent/side-bar action going on?! -- See what I mean?!). . .but glad anything I have to say/offer helps.

Another thought about the "Disneyland Dad", is that he is receiving counsel from someone to fill his journal w/instances of his activites w/kids for future use should he need it to show what kind of father he is, & wants to list as much as possible. I don't mean to imply that he doesn't enjoy the activites, just that it can serve many purposes.

Yeah, I'd thought of that. Thanks for the heads-up - but I also have the calendars from the 2 years prior to Bomb showing not only H's job-related & hobby-related times, but MY good-R time w/my kids.

As far as the bigger house w/MIL or mother taking care of kids to have kids 50% of the time, it's my understanding that it doesn't work that way. His mother taking care of the kids while he isn't there & you're available doesn't cut it. If it ever got down to it, you can have an agreement to where if you're availble, you have 1st right to have your children w/you.

H is ASSuming I will be agreeable to a 50/50 split of 'custody' & that "we" (meaning I) will work together w/scheduling conflicts. As nice as that sounds in theory & as much as I would hate for him to NOT have enough time w/the kids, I just don't see it happening, and I'm dreading the time it comes to a show-down about it.

H IS a tough one to read. Pre-Bomb he was NEVER an agry person, NEVER held grudges - even kept offering olive-branch after olive-branch to his dad over the years -- And my C says H is D'ing me b/c he CANNOT D his dad as we BOTH have emotionally abandoned him &, in H's mind, my doing it was Worse b/c I had vowed to love him until death do us part whereas his dad never made any such promise and, in fact, H KNEW his dad was an un-worthy person from the get-go. So, yeah, he's got anger-issues -- and will continue to have anger issues unless/until he's willing to face them & deal w/them himself. Question is: Will that come TOO LATE for our R/M?