Hmmm. Still sounds like her actions are forcing you to do things, like she is the puppeteer. I think not.
How about:
"I will pursue a D unless circumstances change because I am unwilling to remain married to someone who is having an affair with someone else and who is causing damage to my family. That is a boundary I will not choose to alter. But, there is plenty of room for things to change without a violation of that boundary. For instance, I would prefer a scenario in which you stop your A and we work together to rebuild our M. But, I cannot control you nor will I try. You know the score. Your choices are your choices and my choices are my own."
