Stillme's Chapters Continue Some More

[stillme]

About a hundred years ago, in my high school english class, my teacher told us we all had an IALAC (I Am Lovable And Capable) that started out whole every morning. (She held up a square of paper w/the acronym written across it.) During each day, tho, pieces would be ripped, torn, crumpled & stomped on. Damm, I burnt the toast. . . Shoot! Late for work again. . . Fussing children. . . Nagging H. . . Can't fit into those jeans today. . . Bad hair day. . . Cancelled plans. . . Hurt feelings. . . Frustrations. . .Feeling overwhelmed, etc. Sometimes it's all you can do to end up w/a small corner of your IALAC pinched tightly btwn your thumb & forefinger, and you go to bed feeling beat down & emotionally exhausted & unable to protect that tiny scrap any longer. . . But the magic is that your IALAC becomes wonderfully whole again the next morning. You wake up & the injuries sustained the day before don't feel as raw and, even if the same ones strike again today, they don't tear as much of the IALAC as they did just the day before.

So my IALAC has taken a beating, but (as we know - and as I have said to others on more than one occasion) Tomorrow is Another Day. (That weird life-lesson came to me about a year ago & echoes, alot. Don't even remember how/why tht had to do w/english lit.)

Also funny are the words to a song that came to me in pieces thru the day (tho I seriously was NOT focusing on anything other than being w/the kids). Found myself humming a loop, then trying to put words to it & had to pull out my CD & put it all together when I got home. Strangely, weirdly what I needed to hear:

Hold On (from Broadway musical/The Secret Garden)

What you've got to do is
finish what you have begun.
I don't know just how -
but it's not over til you've won.

When you see the storm is comin',
See the lightning part the skies,
it's too late to run,
there's terror in your eyes.
What you do then is remember
this old thing you heard me say:
It's this storm, not you
that's bound to blow away.

Hold on.
Hold on to someone standin' by.
Hold on.
Don't even ask how long or why.
Child, hold on to what you know is true.
Hold on til you get through.
Child, oh child.
Hold on.

When you feel your heart is poundin',
fear a devil's at your door,
there's no place to hide.
You're frozen to the floor.
What you do then is you force yourself
to wake up and you say:
It's this dream not me
that's bound to go away.

Hold on.
Hold on the night will soon by by.
Hold on.
Until there's nothin' left to try.
Child, hold on, there's angels on their way.
Hold on & hear them say:
Child, oh child.

And it doesn't even matter if the danger & the gloom
come from up above or down below or just come flying at you from across the room.

When you see a man who's ragin',
and he's jealous & he fears
that you've walked thru walls he's hid behind for years,
what you do then is you tell yourself to wait it out & say:
It's this day, not me, that's bound to go away.
Child, hold on.
It's this day, not you, that's bound to go away.