Wife was out with "friend" and my daughter called me depressed. Apparently they were supposed to go look at a horse with D and then W and "F" cancelled on her at the last minute to go to a bar. D complained about how W says she has no money, but yet they've been out to eat for the last 3 nights in a row. D proceeds to then start crying and tells me that W is cheating on me.
Pretty bold statement from a 12yr old.
D apparently was on W's computer and came across an R rated instant msg convo between W and friend. What a wonderful thing for a young child to have to see. D was crying, shaking, and angry at her mom. I sadly could do nothing. I'm not allowed over at IL's house so I couldn't even comfort her properly. Not to mention I'm going through my own bumper cars stomach full of emotions. D said that she was going to go talk to grandma to try and calm down. Well this usually means that she's going to go tell on mom.
I called wife who of course didn't answer. I left her a voicemail and told her the truth about friend was now out. I told her that D read the conversation and I didn't appreciate the fact that such convos were in a place that D had access. I explained that she was "being told on."
Twenty minutes later I get a phone call from a screaming banshee that resembled my W. She defended everything to the max. Said there was nothing, they were just friends. The convo was supposedly "joking around". etc etc
I kept calm. And I talked only about the kids and how they were feeling and impacted. I got called a lot of nasty things. She attacked me and me only for the most part. I managed to keep my cool about it until the very last. She attacked me and said I never let her have friends and be who she was. I then finally said "Well, if you had as much passion for us as you do about your friends...we wouldn't be in the circumstance we are. I'm tired of carrying both the loads. You're equally responsible for this marriage failing. I have taken credit for my half, and for alot of your part. I refuse to carry your load anymore."
And she hung up on me.
Not a good night.
Sadly I don't know if I can DB through this. I'm not sure I want to open myself up to the disappointments anymore. I'm not sure about anything today other than I woke up.
(sigh)
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I'm trying not too. But UA i don't know how much more I can bleed and survive.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
She tried to pin me down during the arguement about a couple of decisions last night.
1) taking the daughter to Oklahoma to look at a horse.
2) A loan that i would be helping her with to purchase said horse.
I told her I needed to think about them right now.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I agree with UA, don't make any decisions while upset.
I agree with you though in the fact that if the wife is going to be doing anything, text messages or emails, they need to be completly hidden from you daughter. That is alot for someone that age to see and have to worry about.
I hope your day gets better, and you take care of yourself.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
To be honest 789...I would've called in to work today and stayed in bed, had it not been for the fact that I have a meeting to attend today that would probably cost me my job if I missed it.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Well don't do anything that would cost you your job. Can you go home early after the meeting. Get some personal time for yourself today, go out and do something you want to do.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
I'm like you man. Paycheck to paycheck right now so there is no available funds for me to go do anything. And sadly no to the personal time today even if I wanted too. (sigh)
My worst fear came true..I was left for another man.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
