I have to say your post just gives more credence to a theory I have that sex is not really the problem in most relationships it's just a SYMPTOM of other underlying problems. And those problems could be relationship/communication issues or would even be specific personal issues (typically being that one or both spouses are looking to the other spouse to MAKE them feel happy, complete, validated etc).
So Sex is not the problem???? Differences in SD is a problem. Major changes in hormonal levels is a problem.

On the communication front, I think I have said what I want/need and BB has done the same. I say what I want/feel and am told I shouldn’t expect her to agree with me. BB has said no hormones and age cause her to be the way she is and I need to respect that. So maybe we are locked into our own positions.

I don’t want BB to make me happy. I can do most things for myself. Sometimes I go solo and then BB tells me I ignore her.


I can also say that there are times I feel tired and not up to sex emotionally and thankfully the men I have been with have never been particularly bothered by it. (They just come back the next day and try again:) Usually to a positive result!)
I like that situation. A real, claimable Raincheck WOW.

Five/ten rainchecks is a problem I have had. I have also heard hopefully sex ends at certain age, or lets skip it for the summertime.

Somehow there seems to be a lot more than sex at hand in many of these interactions.
There is a lot more than the sex for me. So many emotional and warm fuzzie feelings floating around I want to share.

Somehow it appears to me that many men take a single rejection and turn it into a much bigger issue than is initially meant by it.
SINGLE? Single? That is where it rubs me the wrong way. It is not singular by any means. It is rejection after rejection for years even decades in my case. It’s the ratio of good connections and rejections that leads to resentments and anxities that run around in my head, more wasted time if I try. She said she doesn’t get anything out of sex, am I forcing her to do something that causes her to internal grief? Why does something that feels so good cause her to feel so bad?

So why am I not LD after all the failed attempts and rejection? It isn’t because I like Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl- Maybe some women and men need to own a HD man’s equipment for a couple of months.


Then in turn the women see the angst, frustration, neediness, etc. from their H's as "proof" that all their H's want is sex and this cycle just allows each party to feel more entrenched with their beliefs and needs.
Very close Fearless.